July 29, 2008

Sex and the City

Sex and the City

No this is not a movie review, this is about insights and emotional needs of ‘not so young anymore’ women. The movie ‘Sex and the City’ interestingly captures these hidden emotional spaces of these beyond 30 women.
Carrie Bradshow, so successful & famous, but yet is craving for love like any teenager. There is a softer side behind even that career minded, ambitious women. These women probably end up living split lives. One is for the external world which expects them to be of certain kind –passionate, leader, driven, confident, dominating and then there is this real person who may not actually be such a confident person, may have big and small, sensible and silly insecurities in life, at times would want to be dominated, at times my not quite enjoy this burden of decision making and always deciding the right things to do. But this real person gets somewhere lost because this is not a popular expectation of what a successful woman should be. So she starts living a masked life hoping that there will be someone, somewhere who she can depend on, who will be able to look beyond her professional accolades, this child in her and at times also this wild, crazy girl dying to just let go of herself.
Samantha Jones has it all –experience, money, power & a loving man, what more would a woman want. But may be there is still something that she desires, there is still something that she misses. What is that? Now that is a mystery that no one can resolve, not even the woman herself. It’s like this feeling of standing in this really noisy, crowded place with so many people around, but still getting this lonely sinking sensation in the tummy. It’s the realization that all that I thought I wanted and have also got, actually doesn’t give the desired satisfaction that I thought it would give. It sometimes is also the realization that it’s actually the chase; it’s the need to want some thing more all the time is what keeps me going.
Miranda Hobbes, a perfect super woman who strikes this perfect balance between work & home. But actually it isn’t so perfect, life most of the times isn’t. It’s a misconception that it’s all balanced and everything is in harmonization, till something not so pleasant happens. It is then; one realizes that the imbalance wasn’t in favor of what it should be, in favor what matters to you the most in life. Somewhere along the way, you lost what you really treasured but the worst is, you didn’t even realize it, when this was happening.
Charlotte York, a housewife by choice, motherhood is the best gift to her by god. But because your world is so limited, that it becomes so precious that you start being insecured about loosing it. You are scared of the feeling of nothingness which is currently filled with family. A housewife by choice is left with no choice but to ensure that her limited world remains intact.
Don’t we all somewhere relate to one of these women and sometimes in bits & pieces with all four of them. They actually express different facets, times and phases of our own life. But the best part is that every Carry eventually gets the love of her life, that every Samantha sooner or later does realize the calling of her life, that every Miranda does make up for all the imbalances in her life and every Charlotte grows & nurtures a family with limitless happiness. It’s these needs and relationships with life and people around, which keeps us grounded and makes us such colorful beings.

5 comments:

sam relan said...

Very well written post. But all I wonder from the little experience I have is that somewhere this is a generic problem and not limited to women over 30s. Women are made in such a tender way that they do need "the extra care" almost every now and then, and yes, they are worth it. Their strength lies in the love and affection they can give, as a sister, as a mother, or as a wife. The only reason perhaps that creates this as a big common issue is the nature of men, that makes them hide the emotions and be strong. And this too happens after a the initial phase of the relation is over. After the initial wooing, men do tend to become what we guys call STRONG. I used to feel that hiding all the emotions is LIVING STRONG, however, someone has made me realize that its actually living lame. Hiding your emotions so deep that you never are able to see them for yourself is not what emotions are for. They need to be expressed.
Did I go off topic? :) But I expressed my feelings. Thanks to someone. :)
In my closing notes, I dedicate a song by Shaggy called Strength of a woman, to all the beautiful soles, who we call women.
Signing off,
Sam

shivani said...

a very unique kind of post published by you.i totally agree with your views and the skills that you have saod about women.and ofcorse i agree with what sameer said about a generic problem and not limited to women over 30s.well according to me women very often hide what they want to say or what they want to express,may be it is the comfort level they are looking for or may be they feel that there is always a someone who without listening should understand and feel what we want at that particular point of time.but these emotions and feeling should never be kept hidden atleast from the person you love and care for as it creates distances and differences.and suppressing one's emotions is not good for health it harms and kills us from inside what we call our inner soul.say what you want,do what you feel and express your love the way you feel comfortable and you will see the world,the good and the best things coming to you all the way throught the life.feelings have to be expressed and the same time there should be someone to understand it,love it and care for it.
well very soon i am going to write on this and create my own blog.and yes always remember the persons who keep the things in their heart and think that someone would come and fetch it out,guys we are mistaken here so be free to express your feelings and start caring for the one's who cares for us and our everything.
good day to all.
shivani.

sam relan said...

Thanks for acknowledging my post shivani :) i thought you already had your blog, and as mine, it is not been taken good care of. a few posts and u vanished. I am happy the way Ekta is handling this however, sure and positive about updating it regularly. ;)

Ekta said...

Hey Sameer, I am happy to see that i did manage to evoke some emotions, some expressions, feelings & views.
And Shivani i shall be looking forward for your post on this on your blog.
Both of you are right in your own way but things aren't always as simple as they seem to be. Women aren't tender at all, i think they are much stronger than men. What's tender is the circumstances, the conditioning in which women live, where certain things are acceptable for a man but they are not for a women. It isn't always that easy to be able to overcome these barriers of mind & society. But the good thing is that gradually things are changing.
Also while I do agree that one shouldn't be hiding emotions and feelings but life isn't as simple. Sometimes it becomes necessary to hide emotions at a given time. And if it is this, whats good for everyone then why not. This ususally happens as you grow up in life, when you have many other responsibilities than just chasing love. The irony is that you don't stop loving what you stop doing is acknowleding it, even to yourself. Also not to forget the fear of rejection, thats another big reason for hiding emotions, though this is the one that one should try and overcome. What one should ask oneself is that many years from now what will i repend more, having confessed my feelings or having not confessed my feelings.
Cheers! EKTA

sam relan said...

Women are way more stronger than men, undoubtedly, and what i meant by tender was - marked by, responding to, or expressing the softer emotions.
Perhaps you are right about the fear of rejection, which is somehow not in me.
Regards,
Sam