The Lone Traveller

“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world” – This quote from Freya stark always got me interested. I wanted to feel the same feeling. I grew up in an Indian middleclass family surrounded by people. I shared my room with my sister so there was no concept of ‘me’ time. After I got married, I stayed in a joint family for few years, so yet again not much ‘me’ time. After 4 years when I moved out, I got pregnant immediately and had a baby. So I always craved for alone time where I could hear my own inner voice. I read and heard about people travelling alone and found it extremely aspirational and adventurous. When you travel alone, by default you meet more people, learn more about the culture, you are more explorative as there is nothing to distract you. I even told my husband that a month alone travel is in my bucket list that I need to do in this life.  Whenever I saw lone travelers, I found them interesting and was anxious about their whereabouts. I met another such person in my last trip to Bali but this time it was different.

We were living in a small heritage hotel which had individual cottages. We checked in the hotel around 8p.m. As I was entering into my cottage, I noticed a German guy who must be in his early 40s. He was reading a book, sitting in his balcony in the cottage next to mine. The next morning when we left for our day trip, he was still sitting their reading. By then I figured he is travelling alone. We looked at each other and wished good morning. After our day trip, we came back to our cottage in the evening; this man was still sitting on the same chair, in the same balcony, reading the same book. So out of my curiosity and anxiety about lone travelers, I smiled at him and…

Me: Looks like you didn’t step out at all. Is this book that interesting? 

He (laughed and then said): I am leaving for Lombok tomorrow morning for a one month diving trip. So wanted to take this weekend easy and gear myself for diving. After Lombok, I am coming back to Bali which is when I will explore Bali.

It all made sense to me now and got me even more excited about the lone traveler euphoria in my mind. So I said.

Me: Wow, a month long diving. Travelling alone must be so exciting right?

He: Having dinner alone everyday isn’t real fun. I lost my wife 3 months back so this is my first such trip to rediscover myself without her. But I love diving and the sea, so I am looking forward for it. 

This shook all of me and everything around. I was speechless, didn’t know how to react. So after a long pause and a deep breath, I said ‘I am sorry’ but he diverted the subject to talk more about his diving plans. I was listening but didn’t really hear anything. My mind was now restless. I needed some resolutions. Am I taking for granted my non-lonesome travels? Do honestly all the people who travel alone, do it because they love being alone or because they don’t have someone to travel with? Shouldn’t I cherish holidays with my family and friends? Is it truly that exciting to be a lone traveler? I don’t have answers to all this but his one line ‘Having dinner every night alone isn’t really fun’ opened my eyes to an aspect of life that I was ignoring. And at the very next moment, the thought of his diving trip reflecting his undying spirit to rediscover himself also inspired me.

If my thoughts trigger a thought of your own, do leave a comment. I love reading your comments.

The Morning bus ride

For last ten months in Singapore, I have been taking Bus no. 51 to office. But it’s only recently I realized that I really enjoy this 20 mins of my morning bus ride. It is actually one of the best times of my day. I like sitting on the upper deck of the bus. It’s has more sunlight so it feels closer to the nature and is lesser busy than the lower deck where you are always distracted by the people getting in and out of the door. The ones that are there in the bus are busy with a gadget either playing a game or chatting on the phone or an ipad, so in the lower deck you only end up looking at these people. But I love the window seat on the upper deck. It makes me feel as if I have risen above the materialistic world. I feel as if I can now see the larger picture of life. From the window I see all people rushing to office and somehow I feel I am not among them though actually even I am one of them. I feel like I can now see the larger meaning of life which they cannot. It’s the time when I feel most relaxed and some best thoughts and ideas come to me during this time. I am able to see beyond the visible from here. Also it has a weird balanced comfort level, where you are amongst the strangers but still since you travel every day it’s a familiar place. So I like the fact that no one knows me and I don’t need to know anyone. It’s amazing what simple things can make you feel or the positive impact that it can have on you and you don’t even realize it. So tell me who says bus travel is slow and boring, to me it’s MY time.

My second first beer!

My husband was traveling and I was feeling extremely low and lonely. No this is not about why I was low, that’s for another time. This is about something else, a first time experience of something by chance on a lonely weekend.
I was sunk into my laptop all day and the only time I emerged out, was for kiddy talks with my son, kiddy stories and even more kiddier games. Basically I was tired and bored. I hadn’t stepped out of home.
So when my son slept for his Sunday afternoon nap and I was about to have lunch, I opened the refrigerator for a Diet Pepsi. It was a hot Mumbai summer afternoon, something chilly would definitely do good to me. There was no Pepsi in the refrigerator and while I was shutting the door, in between the gap of the refrigerator and its door, I saw an inviting can of beer. Something inside me said why not!
I know you must be wondering what’s the big deal in having a beer. Well you are right; there is no big deal in having a beer. I had my first beer when I just passed class 10, many, many years back. That was my first sip of alcohol back then, so it was a big deal then, not now. Interestingly, it was kind of a big deal even now because this time was the first time I was having it alone.
I always associated beer with fun and friends, something chilled to chill around. So while I was opening the can of the beer, it reminded me even more of the fact that there is no one to have this beer with. I had the first sip of beer and here is when the story began twisting. The first sip of a chilled beer is so gratifying that nothing else matters. One can really feel it pass down from your lips, to the throat, to your entire body system. And as it passed down, it magically took away every bit of grumpiness from every bit of me. I enjoyed it all by myself and I felt happy. I loved the fact that I am loving it alone. I loved the fact that I didn’t need anybody or anything else to feel happy. I loved the fact that sometimes happiness is just a refrigerator away. Try it!

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Hey a friend of mine forwarded this interesting note on aging to me. Thought must share as it's funny & yet quite insightful. Am sure you will connect with it too.

George Carlin's Views on Aging:
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!

After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

As it's evident I have already "turned 30" :)))